How To Find Happiness In Your Healthiness

How To Find Happiness In Your Healthiness


I mentioned in a previous blog post that there are tons of psychological benefits to carb cycling. This nutritional tool has allowed me to overcome a life long dysfunctional relationship with food. 

It's unfortunate, but women all over the world are at war with their bodies. We starve ourselves, punish ourselves with exercise, and whisper cruel words to ourselves when we look in the mirror.

I spent most of my life hating my body. My internal monologue was nothing short of abusive. I said things to myself that I would never dream of saying out loud. I would eat because I was happy, eat because I was sad. Food was my answer to everything. I cringe when I recall all of the pain I put myself through, all the time I wasted feeling helpless and unworthy.

At 30 years old, I’ve spent the majority of my precious time here on earth wanting to be someone else. I was longing to have someone else's abs or good genes or will power. I told myself if I had more willpower I could just stop eating. I remember actually thinking that, wishing I had the mental capacity to develop anorexia. 


Finding happiness in my healthiness.

If that wish shocks you, I’m glad. Because I know many of you reading this will actually be able to relate to that feeling. I’ve spent most of my life learning not just how to be healthy, but also how to change my perspective so that I was happy in my healthiness. Gaining control of my physical appearance was incredibly powerful, but learning how to love my body and be my own best friend has been far more special than any before and after picture I could ever show you.

When I started to show myself love, when I decided I was worth the commitment, and when I focused on my strength and performance was when everything changed. Fat loss and muscle gain became much easier. Working out became more rewarding. Eating healthy foods to fuel my workouts and recovering muscles became a necessity. Eventually, I didn’t care so much about what the scale said or if I had a stomach wrinkle when I was wearing my favorite jeans.

Ending my long term abusive relationship.


The biggest part of my emotional shift was giving up food phobia. After a lifetime of yo-yo dieting and restriction I found "flexible eating" and macros (IIFYM) and learned how to use the actual nutritional value of food as a determining factor of whether or not I should eat it. This allowed me to “indulge” when I wanted to, in a smart way, sans guilt. This also allowed me to gain strength and recover faster, while getting compliments from friends and loved ones that I looked great and had a glow. That verbal affirmation from others was nice, but it was nothing compared to the gift I had given myself. The gift of freedom and emotional peace. I don't hate myself if I eat a piece of pizza anymore. I'm not overcome with guilt and shame because I had a donut. This is especially true when I remind myself that my body needs fuel. 

"Mistakes are only mistakes if you don't learn from them."

It took years of mistakes and struggle and pain to get to this point of self love. Since then it’s taken a few more years to learn what really works and how to apply my exercise physiology degree to real life.

My missions is to help other women like you avoid these struggles and learn from my mistakes. It’s the whole reason I have this fire inside of me to spread the science behind health and fitness. If you’re searching for that same freedom, I can’t encourage you enough to give carb cycling a try. It’s a big step in the right direction towards learning how to be your own best friend and feel great about your nutrition. I want you to feel strong during your workouts and see confidence when you look in the mirror, because you are a strong and beautiful woman. 

Love your food. Love your body. Love yourself. 

Lay down your weapons and show your body the love and respect it deserves. Think of how much time we spend EATING! It’s such a waste of time to feel guilty about your food choices. Carb cycling is a great way to enjoy the foods you love WITHOUT THE GUILT!


Give yourself the gift of freedom and emotional peace. I’ll teach you how to carb cycle in real life, just download my free guide “Intro to Carb Cycling” below.

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About Ashley:

Ashley is a Pilates instructor and entrepreneur in NYC who specializes in biomechanics and exercise nutrition for women. She uses the science behind exercise physiology to empower her clients to lead healthy, happy lives. Her passion project is writing “The LEAN Life Newsletter” which goes out every Tuesday and focuses on Lifestyle, Exercise, Active recovery, and Nutrition and serves as the backbone for her L.E.A.N. Life online health and fitness programs. She aims to get this information into the hands of as many women as possible so they can feel stronger and more confident in their bodies. For more information head to or @AshleyBrownPilates on instagram, or click here to get on the L.E.A.N. Life List!